Nicknames

It has been awhile! Anyone who has been through the foster care process can understand that it is easy for your life to become completely consumed by it. We are about a third of the way through our classes, and I have already learned so much. It's uncanny, really. I arrogantly walked into the first class thinking I had the slightest clue, (spoiler: I do not) and that arrogance was quickly dealt with! While I most certainly deserved a lightning bolt to the chest for being so self assured in the midst of uncharted territory, I am supremely thankful that my God is gracious and opted for the "pie to the face" approach instead. I'll take chocolate cream, thank you Jesus. It has taken me until now to pen a reaction for several reasons. First, information overload. The sheer volume of data that is given is enough to make your head spin, but in the best way! When I began classes, my parenting toolbox had maybe three tools in it (tragic, I know), and now my eyes have been opened up to entire hardware stores of approaches, disciplines, psychology, and perspectives. At the most perfect time, as is always the case with God. My husband and I were in a rut. Struggling to find solutions to our children's behaviors and not sure where to find inspiration we were frustrated and tired. We definitely were not being the best parents we could be to our children, which brought forth a lot of doubt about whether or not we had any business doing foster care at all. Man, am I glad we stuck it out! Our experience so far has been nothing but encouraging. For that I am so thankful. The second reason it has taken me so long to write is because I choose to only write on things I feel the Lord is calling me to share. When I can feel His spirit tugging at my heart and pruning me for growth is when I pick up the pen. Quality over quantity, right?

There are two words resounding in my heart as I reflect on our course work thus far. Two tiny, yet intensely powerful words...

 I am. 

Here is why: there has been no mention, reference, indication, or advocacy for God throughout these state run classes, and yet, I see Him everywhere. I wasn't even looking for Him.... In an environment that by law has to be void of religion and laden with case studies and facts, He is there. In the classroom He goes by names like Needs, Strengths, Attachment, Disciplinary Practice, and Case Plan Support. I hear those titles, I read their definitions and understand their applications. Great stuff, totally useful. But when I really stop and peel back the layers of this onion I see a different and more accurate list of names. I see Patience, Good, Discipleship, Grace, Forgiveness, and Fellowship. I see Love. Unadulterated, painful, sticky, unfailing Love. 

I am.

 I will never understand why God allows terrible things to happen to children. I will never be able to explain to them why this is their life. But I have a feeling that at least a small part of it may have something to do with this resounding testimony to hundreds of families across the country. They are all hearing His teachings and beginning to understand His heart. I say this because you either believe God is sovereign over everything, or sovereign over nothing, but it cannot be anything in between.

 I am.  

He knows these children, He knows these families, He calls each one by name. Now perhaps I am way off base, it wouldn't be the first time, but I know I see God is those classrooms. I know the other wonderful people choosing to help these children and learn these tools see Him too. They just might call Him something else. 

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6